Friend or Foe

They say boyfriends come and go and friends are forever. yes, I was a strong believer for this philosophy before, I chose my friends over my boyfriend at the time any day of the week. I realize though as I get older good friends are REALLY hard to hold on to, on the other hand, the boyfriend never skipped a beat. i don't know if its because of as people get older they get more selfish and focused on their own thing, or it is just me, and my past. I do think my past has a really huge impact on my life, how I do things and how I think. it's very psychological, and no I don't want to get into it.
back to the friends problems, no I don't have any major friends problem at the moment, and no I'm not planning on having one in the nearest future. like I said, I have had my share of this drama all through my life. but things are oke now, I hope.
I have thought about certain things a long the way, how I might have changed and why ight cause this changes to happen. well one thing, I do have a serious trust issues. I'm not blaming this on anyone but myself, being a psychology student in my third year, I kinda did a little self analyses myself, a case of miss-diagnosed may and may not happen. so, trust issues is the biggest and major problem I have right now, I find myself constantly thinking about what's the pther party's hidden agenda. why would they anything, really. no, this is not me being overly paranoid, but its just me being a cynical and realistic. I mean, just think about it this way, people do have their own agenda, they always have something they can get out of from other people or anything. it's human nature, so no one should be ashamed of realizing this.
of course, trauma also holds a pretty big role. I guess in way, I used to have a huge expectation from my friends, and not so much from my (ex)boyfriends. this way, when bad things happen with my boyfriend that that moment i wouldnt be so crushed, because i would still have my friends, but back to my what I said earlier, people are slefish in their own way.
these days, I have my own theory about friendship, that is, don't be too naive (of course), don't take things too seriously, and all humans are self-absorved, so everything is based on their own benefit. sad, but it is true.
it is actually a good thing that I decided ot take psychology, this way I could leaan there's no such thing as normal, and with the highly complex being that we are, everything is possible in the mind of us human.